Grievances With the General Public

Sometimes when I'm sitting on the bus or walking down the street, I see something that really annoys me. I often wonder if I'm the only one who notices these things. Tom says this post is catty, but this stuff is just common sense to me. Here are some of my grievances with the general public.

1) People Who Take the Elevator Up One Floor

Seriously. Why are these people so lazy? I'm taking the elevator from ground to 14. And you are taking the elevator from ground to 2. Isn't it faster to take the stairs? Unless you're carrying an awkward load or have health problems, there is no reason to take the elevator one floor! And the same can be said about people who take the elevator down one floor. This is the epitome of laziness, because this fabulous thing called "gravity" makes descending stairs a whole lot easier than going up.

2) People Who Make Their Way to the Bus Door Before the Bus Stops

The bus I take in the morning is usually pretty full. It's a double bus (extra long), and usually all the seats are full, and people are crammed into the aisles. That being said, once we reach downtown, at least 12-30 people get off at any given stop. So it's early. You're groggy, and a bit cranky. You're standing on a packed bus, crammed in there next to Mr. I-Didn't-Shower-This-Morning, and some person who has a seat realizes that their stop is next. While the bus is still in motion, they stand up, and start elbowing/pushing/squeezing their way though the mash of standing people, trying to get to the bus doors. And while trying to make way for this person, you have the unfortunate luck to make the acquaintance of Ms. I-Smell-Like-Ashtray, and Mr. I-Forgot-Deodorant. The bus finally stops, and the person gets off. And then the other 30 people make their way off the bus. And what do you know? There is now a CLEAR path from the persons original seat. If they had just WAITED for everyone else to get off the bus in order, you never would have made the acquaintance of your unfortunately smelly passengers. **Sigh**

A really full bus.

3) Cars (More Specifically, Trucks) That Can't Park.

Don't lie. It's happened to you before. You're driving around and around in a parking lot looking or a spot. It's packed full. You're going to have to go to a different lot and park 4 blocks away! And then.... You see it! An empty space. A prime space! You're overjoyed! You pull up to it, and at the last minute realize the driver of the shiny new F150 in the stall next door felt that ONE stall wasn't good enough for him. He actually needed 1 1/2 stalls! And now you're SOL, because thanks to him, you can't squeeze into the only remaining parking stall in the lot. Thanks.

Exhibit A

4) People Who Go To The Gym and Socialize

Let me clarify. It's not that I don't like it when people socialize at the gym. It's nice that you ran into your friend that you haven't seen in months, and I encourage you to chat and catch up. But if you're going to do that, please move away from the exercise equipment. There are only so many treadmills, and I'd actually like to use one to RUN. It's not very considerate of you to stand motionless on one for 20 minutes while you catch up on the latest gossip.

5) Girls Who Don't Know the Difference Between Tights and Leggings.

Leggings: Can be worn as a substitute for pants. They are totally opaque, and you can't see through them. Generally if you are wearing leggings, you should also be wearing a long shirt or tunic that covers your bum. The reason for bum coverage is because leggings don't leave anything to the imagination. And unless you are part of the 0.5% of the population with a perfect body, no one wants to see your bum.

Note: Bum Coverage

Tights: Are a slightly thicker version of nylons and cover the feet. The key here is that you can still see through tights. They are not a substitute for pants, they are meant to a) make a fashion statement b) pretty-up an outfit, or c) provide extra warmth when you are wearing a dress or skirt.

Simple black tights.

An outfit can quickly become a train-wreck if leggings or tights are worn inappropriately! Beware!

Anyway, there's only one day of work left until the Easter long weekend. I hope the Easter Bunny treats you well!

Commissioned

Last weekend I finished up my first-ever art commission!

The original Suzanna Fong can be seen here: http://suzannafongarts.com/largeviewd190.html?imagename=two-koi-big.jpg&iwidth=439&iheight=570

My version looks like this:

I'm pretty pleased with the results.

I'm just going to spray it down with some protectant, and it'll be ready to go!

Courting Disaster - Victorious!

Update: We won our first match, and lost our second match in the playoffs. So we finished off the season in 6th place!

Last Tuesday Courting Disaster played our last two matches of the regular season. We also won our first match!

Now, I'm sure you're thinking, "Wow, Courting Disaster must really suck if their last game of the season was their only win." And if you are thinking that, you would be wrong. W-R-O-N-G.

For the past three seasons, Courting Disaster has played in a rec league. The "goal" in the rec league is to get the ball over the net any way you can. There's no hard hitting, including spiking or jump serving. Through a chain of events (i.e. us registering late), we got bumped into the Intermediate league for the winter season. Intermediate league is more about setting up the full bump-set-spike combo. It's slightly more advanced.

There are a lot of teams in the intermediate league; 32 to be exact. So the first three weeks of the season were dedicated to seeding rounds. The theory is that after the seeding round, you should be playing in a smaller intermediate league with teams that are more at your level.

The good news is that we were probably somewhere in the 14-16th place at the end of seeding. Then the teams were divided into four divisions (A-D), with 8 teams in each. So.. We ended up in the "B" league-- which seems pretty good to me! The bad news is that we were at the bottom of the B league. So for the following four weeks, we were pummeled by the other teams. Again.. And again...

This isn't to say our team was discouraged. Team morale is high! Everyone is there to have fun, and fortunately no one on our team is super competitive. We laugh a lot, and I think we've gotten a lot better too.

So that brings us to Tuesday night.

Since it's the last game night of regular season, we decided to meet up for team dinner beforehand. We met at BP's and had some cheap Tuesday-night pasta. Spaghetti! Fettucini! Linguine! In HUGE heaping portions! With huge amounts of MSG?

We arrived at the gym a couple hours later feeling naseous, queasy, bloated and generally unpleasant... I think I may have had heart burn for the second time in my life.

Damn you BP's!

But a little indigestion couldn't hold us back! We won our first game-- which seemed to perturb our opponents, those Damn Dirty Apes. While we were laughing and joking, they were saying things like, "Come on guys! What's going on?" to each other. I guess they weren't used to losing. In the end, yelling at each other worked for them. They did come back and beat us in the second game and the tie-breaker. But we definitely had more fun.

So we moved on to play the next team, the Hard Strokes. These games were a comedy of errors... But we came out victorious!

To summarize our victorious games (and blatantly copying Captain Ashley's previous award format), I propose the following awards for the night:

Most Valuable Players: Dave and Lionel

Although Dave could probably single-handedly win games for us, he is all about setting up plays for other people to take. He has a knack for slowing things down. Same goes for Lionel. Lionel has mastered the art of spiking, and is excellent at reminding us to take our time to set up plays. These two guys are class acts!

Most Off-Colour Joke: Jeff

As Ed sets up to serve...

Amanda: I'm afraid Ed's going to hit me with his balls.

Jeff: You're not the first girl to say that.

Most Unpredictable Spike: Ed

Ed has mastered the spike wind-up. When he gets the full follow-through motion, he drills the ball into the ground! He's unstoppable! No one can dig those out! Unfortunately his aim is a little unpredictable, and sometimes the balls ends up in the ground... On our side of the net.

Most Ridiculous Move: Andy

We're glad Andy is willing to sacrifice his body for the win... But we don't want him to get hurt! I'm not sure if this week's ridiculous move was as awesome as the time it looked like he was going to run up the wall, ninja style. Here is a stick man reinactment of Andy's Most Ridiculous Move. Reports indicate he has a volleyball related butt-bruise.

Most Painful Hit: Amanda

Way to take it in the crotch!

And where did that mystery arm bruise come from?

Most Vicious Blocking: Kim

I have an observation. When I try to block, I almost always close my eyes as a defensive reflex. Of course, then I can't see where the ball is coming from, and I usually miss it. But when Kim gets her hands up at the net, 9 times out of 10, she beats the pants off of the opponent she's blocking. Perhaps she has mastered the art of keeping her eyes open?

Best Captaining & Nicest Ass: Ashley

Thanks for keeping us all organized, Captain! In addition to being the best captain, Ashley always wins the award for "Nice Ass." Or what I'm ACTUALLY saying, "Nice, Ash!"

Maybe we'll cause an upset in the playoff round.

Wish us luck!

Ravioli and White Girls

"Ravioli and White Girls" just doesn't have the same ring to it as "Wontons and White Girls." But my adventures with foods that require wrapping, continue...

The pasta makers. Left to right: Mallary, Christina, Aly, Jill, Paige and Jasmine

Jill and Mallary's love for cooking is well known. After Jill's somewhat disasterous experience with spinach ravioli (i.e. massive quantities, and 4 hours of her life she'll never get back...), she and Mallary decided to give it another, more experienced, go. So on Saturday, we headed over to Mallary's place for some homemade pasta.

When I arrived, the dough was already made, and Jill was putting the finishing touches on the filling-- ground turkey, sundried tomatoes and cheese.

With Mallary's newly acquired pasta maker, Jill, Paige, Christina and Mallary took turns cranking the dough through the machine to flatten it out.

Jill and Paige flatten the dough.

Once the dough was flat, it was set out on the table to dry out (just a little bit). When the pasta was at a proper consistency, we painted it with egg wash (this makes the pasta stick together), and started rolling the ravioli. Paige and I acted as roller/pinchers, and Aly and Jasmine acted as filling scoopers. Since the pasta is in long strands, you add a little bit of filling on the end, fold it over and pinch. Then you cut it off to make an individual ravioli.

Jill demonstrates rolling/pinching techniques.

Ravioli finished!

With so many of us, we made quick work of the ravioli making. There was only one minor egg wash spill-- everything else ran smoothly. After all that scooping, pinching and rolling, we were worried the ravioli might fall apart in the pot. Being mainly geologist and engineers, we agreed on an easy solution. We ran a test boil on a couple pieces before we made the whole batch.

Test run boil. None of the stuffing came out-- success!

Since the test boil went off without a hitch, Mallary and Jasmine boiled up a batch for everyone. With a little sauce, and some cheese-- they were fantastic!

Yum yum yum!

Are you hungry now?

Mallary and Jill, great idea! I think everyone had a great time.

Word is there might be a third installment of foods-that-need-wrapping. Next up, perogies! No pressure, Jasmine!

Profiles of a Wedding Party: Part 1

As you may (or may not) know, Tom and I are getting married on September 25, 2010.

I'd like to take this opportunity to introduce you to MY side of...

THE WEDDING PARTY

Ashley - Maid 'O Honour

Ashley and I met in September of 1999 when we started High School. I'm not exactly sure what nerdly pursuit we first bonded over (Band? English AP? Social AP?), but we hit it off quickly, and our friendship has grown over the past 10 years. In 2006 we travelled to New York together, followed by 2 months in Australia in 2007, and San Francisco in 2009. We make good travel companions because Ashley tells me what to do and where to go, and I generally comply with little-to-no protest. Before Tom and I bought our condo, Ashley and I were also roommates. She didn't seem to mind when I did mildly neurotic things-- like alphabetize her DVD collection.

Ashley is great because she can make light of any situation. She is thoughtful and always willing to lend a hand. She is also always willing to discuss the last girl to get kicked out of America's Next Top Model. She reminds me that it's not always necessary to be a cheapskate and that if you don't have a ready excuse to leave a party, sometimes you can get away by mumbling nothing, and exiting quickly.

Heather - Bridesmaid

In 1991, Heather attended my second grade birthday party. We've known each other a really, really long time. When we were in the sixth grade (or maybe seventh?) we made some sort of pact that if we weren't part of each others wedding parties, we could pee on the other persons lawn. What do you expect? We were eleven.

This is a pretty old picture of Heather, so it should be noted that this isn't an accurate representation of her hair. Once when the passport office called to confirm Heather's identity, they asked me, "What colour is Heather's hair?" And I said, "Well... Naturally. Brown. But it changes a lot." They replied, "What colour was it the last time you saw her?" And I answered, "Black and pink."

Since we grew up together, many of my earlier memories involve Heather-- and a lot of laughing. What I like best about Heather is that she is full of logical, helpful advice. She is thoughtful and independent. She has strong opinions, and is not afraid to voice them. For example, once she threw an orange at one of those trucks that drives around with the disturbing abortion pictures on it. That's Heather in a nutshell. Totally. Awesome.

Steve - Bridesman

Steve and I also met in High School. This time, I am certain it was in Social AP, but we also spent English AP, Art 30, and in University, Geography 201, together as well. For two summers we worked together, and had an excellent lunch-time arrangement where I would eat the unwanted pickles from his A&W Mama Burgers. When we were in Australia, we were bunk buddies (not like that, people, get your mind out of the gutter!!). Steve took the top bunk, and I always took the bottom bunk. This was a good arrangement because Steve doesn't swear like a sailor in his sleep like SOME people. *Cough, cough, Jeff*

Sometimes... I'm not sure why Steve and I are friends. He reminds me on a regular basis that I'm entirely hopeless with witty comebacks. He tells me I'm short (I'm not! I'm above average!), and that I should be considered a disabled driver because I'm female and half-Asian. And he once called me an illiterate harpy. The sentiments, "I hate you, Steve!" have passed through my lips more times than I can count. But he's solid, honest and dependable. Despite his propensity for being a huge jerk, Steve is still, and will always be, one of my BFF's.

"JDiva" Jeff - Bridesman 2.0

This is Jeff. He's a Bridesman 2.0, because he is the new and improved version of a Bridesman. I don't know exactly what that means. I just want to imply he is better than Steve.

Like Ashley and Steve, the basis for my friendship with Jeff was set in High School. Through Social and Science AP, we bonded over class projects. When we entered University, Jeff and I joined "sister" faculties, Geology and Geophysics. When we graduated, Jeff and I were able to nerd-out about rocks all through Australia.

Jeff has quite a reputation about multiple things-- sometimes totally deserved. He is a human garborator (he finishes unfinished meals), he is a singing diva (hence, "JDiva"), he loves side boob (right, Shauna?), he has curb-stomped something, and he can do basic math because, duh, he has Bachelor of Science. Jeff also has a reputation for being an awesome friend. Once back in early 2003 or 2004, he walked through a Calgary snow-storm in December to deliver some flowers when my family dog died. I'm not even sure if I thanked him enough back then. This is just one of the reasons I know Jeff will always be there if I need.

There you have it! Now you've met my side of the wedding party. You have to admit, they sound pretty fantastic. Right?

Next I'll introduce you to Tom's side of the wedding party.

Stay tuned for Profiles of a Wedding Party: Part 2, coming soon!